The Results Are In

I am two weeks into the Jane Plan, first week I lost 7lbs and then we went away for the weekend.  I tried to have some healthy options whilst away but I was 3 days off the plan so the second week I only lost 1lb.  A total loss of 8lb over a fortnight which includes a weekend of drinking!

I’m quite impressed with the results but could kick myself for going off plan whilst away as I could have seen an even bigger loss.  I am now starting my third week and am hoping to have another 6lb loss over the next fortnight, this will mean I could potentially lose a stone in a month.  Even with half a stone loss clothes are fitting better and I’m feeling confident.  I’ve never eaten so much fruit and veg in my life but there are so few carbs in the plan that I need something to fill up on.  My snack last night was one solitary biscuit!  Biscuits were not invented to be eaten in isolation, you need at least a couple with your cuppa.

We went to the cinema today to watch Hotel Transylvania 2, the kids were armed with popcorn, sugary drinks and sweets – they’re still bouncing from the eNumbers.  I didn’t have a single sweet or taste of popcorn and I’m quite pleased with myself, I sat there with my cup of tea (sadly, no biscuits) and watched the film. It’s a nice feeling when you’re able to resist temptation, a feeling that I haven’t experienced enough.

Thyroid wise I don’t think my medication is right as my hair has started thinning again and I’m always blooming freezing.  My next check-up isn’t due for a month so I’ll just have to hope I have a reasonable amount of hair left by then.  Dieting and  thyroid issues are a nightmare together, sometimes you can’t work out what’s causing the problems.  Am I tired because of the lack of carbs in my diet or is it because my thyroid medication isn’t quite right?  The tiredness has meant that I haven’t been exercising at all the last fortnight.  I have booked into a Body Pump class for next week, so hopefully I’ll have a bit more energy and more weight loss by then.


Me Fatty, You Jane


I started the Jane Plan last Thursday and so far I’m managing to stick to it.  ‘Jane’ tells you to weigh yourself weekly so my results will be in on Thursday.  I did have a sneaky peek on the scales though as there’s no way you can tell a fat person to wait for results, if I had patience to wait then I’d wait until I was hungry to eat. I’d wait before gorging on that extra slice of cake that I don’t really need and I’d wait that magic twenty minutes after eating to realise I’m full.  Do people actually do that?  I suppose they do which is why the rest of the world doesn’t look like me.  They say there is a thin person inside us all waiting to come out, I think mine legged it ages ago bored of waiting.

I have decided to not do any exercise whilst I’m on the plan as that will then confirm whether it is the new diet that’s having an effect and not the combination of diet and exercise.

My box of Jane Plan goodies was delivered in a plain brown box, which I was thankful for as I don’t want to advertise to the neighbours that I’m doing this.  The meals were wrapped in lovely tissue paper and it did feel like someone had taken a lot of care over packing it especially for me.  The plan consists of pre-prepared meals which you add your own fruit and vegetables to.  I was worried about the nutritional content of the food but I’m adding so much veg to everything that I’m probably eating more vitamins than I usually do.  Most of the foods have been nice but I think I prefer a hot soup for lunch rather than the salads.  The first one I opened looked like this:


I peeled off the metallic lid and couldn’t help but think of cat food.  I ate the Moroccan salad which was nice enough but in the back of my mind the association with a tin of Sheba had been made and I couldn’t eat it again.  I have never been good at eating cold lunches such as salmon or tuna salad etc. I’m much more a soup person which is good as there are lots of soup alternatives on the plan.

I tend to have porridge or granola for breakfast, soup and vegetables for lunch and one of the premade meals with more vegetables in the evening.  It seems to be low carb as I haven’t seen any bread all week, in fact to go with the pork meatballs the other night I ‘spirallized’ some courgettes and had those instead of pasta.  I bought a gizmo that makes nice spirals out of vegetables, which you can boil and use as a substitute for spaghetti and such like.

I felt quite tired the first few days but now my body is starting to get used to the plan and things are getting easier, I’m hoping I’ll feel more motivated on Thursday when I get myself weighed.  Of course we have half term holidays coming up and we’re going away again which means a few days off the Jane Plan.

Now it’s time for me to have some of my lovely porridge for breakfast, have a great day folks x

Kettles for Cuppas Only


I went for my second PT session and this time the trainer had an assortment of ‘compound’ exercises for me to do.  One of these included Kettle Bells.  He said ‘Kettle’ and I made the word association of having a nice cuppa and settling down in front of the telly.  I was rudely awoken from my daydream to see him thrusting the kettle bell between his legs, demonstrating what he expected me to do.  I have never felt more un-lady like in my entire life!

I stood there with my feet shoulder-width apart, legs slightly bent and reached down for the 10kg Kettle Bell.  He asked me to ‘thrust’ from my hips whilst swaying the kettle bell between my legs.  I must have looked like some drunken Neanderthal on a Friday night as I was swaying all over the place, my posture was non existent and all the time he was telling me to ‘thrust’ from my hips.  Let’s not forget that this ‘magic’ was also created on a bustling gym floor with many spectators around us.

I had two sets of 15 repetitions to do and at the end of it I discovered a new found hatred of Kettle Bells.  I’m sure it’s a very good exercise but I’m fat, nearly forty and hate the way I look.  The last thing I need to do is attract attention to myself, which is exactly what was happening!  At one point he told me that I wasn’t thrusting from the hip and that I should ‘shake what my mama gave me’, I kid you not, he said those words.  I was quick to respond and told him that mama gave me more on top than she did below (just in case he was blind).  Holding your posture with a 10kg Kettle Bell whilst being well endowed on top is no easy feat.  I struggle with gravity most days let alone whilst thrusting extra weight from my hips.

We moved onto a few other exercises such as lateral pull downs, which weren’t too bad at all.  Finally, he asked me to choose between dumb bells and kettle bells for the last exercise, I had clocked that dumb bells started from 2.5kg so I asked for them instead.  He ignored that completely and told me I was getting Kettle Bells again (why bothering asking me?) thus ensuring that his name was well and truly off my Christmas Card list. He then proceeded to demonstrate the next exercise which was to use most of the available free floor space in the gym.  Over a distance of about 6/7 metres I was to hold a 5kg kettle bell in each hand and almost ‘wade’ across an imaginary pool of water.  In actual fact it looked like I was an orangutan with very long arms going in search of my next banana fix.

The session finished without a cool down and my humiliation was complete, I then had the option to sign up with him for another 8 sessions and pay for the privilege of being made an exhibition of.  To be fair, he is the best trainer there and I am my own worst critic.  He looks at both your nutrition and your exercise regimes and promises results.  I probably will sign up with him but after I’ve done a month on the ‘Jane Plan’ to kickstart the weight loss again.  This box of diet ‘goodies’ arrives tomorrow.  Nutritionally I’m not expected much which is why I’m only doing it for a month, but that should help me lose over half a stone and then I can set up the PT sessions again.

I also did a spin class yesterday after my PT session, which wasn’t my cleverest move.  At the end of the whole gym session my fitness monitor said that I had burned over 1200 calories but I’m sure that can’t be right.  I’ll take it though, every bit of encouragement helps and I celebrated this fact with a few glasses of wine last night.  Tonight will be a last supper of sorts as from tomorrow all my meals and snacks will be calorie controlled for the next 28 days.  If I can lose a jean size by next month then I’m happy (for now).  Wish me luck!

Recovery with Age


It was party weekend, there was a whole group of us meeting up and then we were having some people staying with us.  I ended up not going to sleep until 3.30 am on Saturday night and I am still trying to recover now!

Gone are the days of clubbing until the early hours and going to lectures the next morning, I can barely open my eyes and its now Monday.  This weekend has taught me that I’m not a party animal and between you and me, I don’t want that either.  Give me a nice meal and a few glasses of wine any time but staying up until the early hours of the morning and then getting up early to deal with the children is too much.  The last time I felt exhaustion like this was when I was doing nightly feeds for the kids and I was spending most nights with inadequate sleep.

It’s made me realise that I am old and I do need my 8 hours sleep, I’m a much better person for it.  I was quite sensible on the weekend too, (another sign of age) and stuck to wine and champagne rather than necking everything that I could get hold of like the others.  My dignity was in tact and I was holding sensible, reasonable conversations even until 3 in the morning.  Or perhaps, my impression was that I was holding a reasonable conversation and the reality was that others saw me as talking (or slurring) utter tripe.  Who knows but then again who cares, it was a fabulous weekend and I love socialising but next time I’m going to bed earlier and sticking to hot chocolate after 11 😉

Diet wise things are not good, I had half of my PT session at the gym last week as the trainer was late.  He put me through my paces and has promised if I sign up with him, he guarantees I can lose a stone and a half by Christmas.  Sounds good but surely I could lose that by diet alone?  One difference with doing exercise at the same time is that my body will be far more toned than diet alone.  I have my second half of the session tomorrow and then I’ll decide what I want to do.  It would be nice to lose a bit before Christmas, I’m already getting whatsapp message for party dates where some want to go out late November!  Why do the celebrations have to start earlier every year?  It annoys me that every year I seem to have less and less time to actually get in shape because it always takes me until now to realise how bad things are and then we have Christmas, then Valentines and then loads of birthday parties.  Throughout the year I have some excuse or another why I cant get in shape and most years I give up.  I go to all the parties and ensure that I stand behind someone in the photos or alternatively I volunteer to take everyone else’s photo.

I still have my deadline of turning to forty which seems to have gone from a year to nearly 6 months and I am no where near losing the 2 / 3 stone that I wanted to.  It can still be done in 6 months and I know I can do it but its having the motivation and less distractions to actually do it.  Maybe I should take myself off to some remote island somewhere and live off coconuts and other edible natural resources.  Away from all the mayhem, just me and my weighing scales 🙂

In Search of Motivation

It must have been a long time since I last blogged as I even had to reset my password.  Things are looking bleak at the moment, I started losing weight in July then the summer holidays came and I put half of it back on, then we had a death in the family and the rest came back on.  Now here I am three months later with no weight loss to show and the party season coming up.

I have no motivation at all, it’s all gone wrong and I’m looking more like a marrow than my traditional apple shape.  Everything is big – boobs, waist, backside…….everything, even my eye lashes feel heavy! My thyroid medication has been altered twice, the weight seems to be here to stay, I’m heavier now than I was when I first started this blog, at this rate I’ll look rubbish for my 40th birthday 😫 I am in desperate need of motivation and have therefore booked a Personal Training session with one of the guys at the gym.  I loved my PT sessions before but ended up becoming good friends with my trainer and not continuing with the training after.

We have guests staying with us this weekend, so I’m going to be realistic and start the health kick from Monday 12th October.  I’ll have my PT session on Thursday and might even go to a spin class this week, just to compensate for the upcoming weekend.  Food wise I’m not going to radically do anything which is good news as my husband has just walked in with a McDonalds lunch for me, that’s today’s daily allowance gone!

Around three weeks ago I did have a superb plan of sticking to 1200 calories a day but the app I was using would take ages to load on my phone and this made entering calories a massive chore.  I thought I could calculate calories in my head over the day but this led to huge discrepancies and then I foolishly gave up – shock horror, after years of dieting I stopped giving a stuff about the scales and enjoyed three weeks off, and this is why we’re here today.

My weight fluctuations have always been like this but now with an underactive thyroid and more miles on the clock, losing weight is so tricky.  From Monday I have 6 weeks before my next planned function (we’re going away for a birthday celebration), so 6 weeks with an average loss of 2lb a week means if I pull my socks up I could lose close to a stone.  The only problem with pulling my socks up is that I don’t think I could get them past my fat ‘cankles’😉

If I carry on at this rate then my 40th will come around too quickly and my waist, thighs and boobs will also be in their forties (forty inches)!  Apart from my age nothing else should be anywhere near forty or I’ll be very disappointed 😒

I have been wearing my Fit Bit and cover 10,000 steps most days however steps alone are not the answer, I need to do more.  It’s almost like I’ve tried everything and now cant think of what to try next.  All I can do is cut the takeaways, increase the exercise and see how we get on.  I’m loathed to go back to calorie counting so three meals and healthy snacks it is.  This morning when I weighed myself my BMI was through the roof and it’s the highest its ever been at 31.68, I’m too ashamed to put down my start weight but maybe that’s what I need to do to motivate me.  I’m scared to share my weight and I’m not happy with looking in a mirror, let alone taking photos of my lard arse and putting them online.  I’m the one who hides behind the others in a group photo, the one who always has a child in front of her tummy and the one who very rarely has a photo of just herself on her facebook page.  This is exactly why I want to lose some weight so on my 40th I can have some lovely photos of me, looking good.

I’m setting a target to lose between 12lbs and a stone by 17th November – that’s 6 weeks from today, then I’ll take a week off and set myself my next target for Christmas.  I’m hoping that smaller targets might make it easier to manage, we can but hope.  So I’m sorry folks that the blog isn’t full of fantastic news of how brilliant the weight loss is going but things can only get better.  Lets be honest if they get any worse then I might be on one of those documentaries where I’m too fat to leave the house!