It must have been a long time since I last blogged as I even had to reset my password. Things are looking bleak at the moment, I started losing weight in July then the summer holidays came and I put half of it back on, then we had a death in the family and the rest came back on. Now here I am three months later with no weight loss to show and the party season coming up.
I have no motivation at all, it’s all gone wrong and I’m looking more like a marrow than my traditional apple shape. Everything is big – boobs, waist, backside…….everything, even my eye lashes feel heavy! My thyroid medication has been altered twice, the weight seems to be here to stay, I’m heavier now than I was when I first started this blog, at this rate I’ll look rubbish for my 40th birthday 😫 I am in desperate need of motivation and have therefore booked a Personal Training session with one of the guys at the gym. I loved my PT sessions before but ended up becoming good friends with my trainer and not continuing with the training after.
We have guests staying with us this weekend, so I’m going to be realistic and start the health kick from Monday 12th October. I’ll have my PT session on Thursday and might even go to a spin class this week, just to compensate for the upcoming weekend. Food wise I’m not going to radically do anything which is good news as my husband has just walked in with a McDonalds lunch for me, that’s today’s daily allowance gone!
Around three weeks ago I did have a superb plan of sticking to 1200 calories a day but the app I was using would take ages to load on my phone and this made entering calories a massive chore. I thought I could calculate calories in my head over the day but this led to huge discrepancies and then I foolishly gave up – shock horror, after years of dieting I stopped giving a stuff about the scales and enjoyed three weeks off, and this is why we’re here today.
My weight fluctuations have always been like this but now with an underactive thyroid and more miles on the clock, losing weight is so tricky. From Monday I have 6 weeks before my next planned function (we’re going away for a birthday celebration), so 6 weeks with an average loss of 2lb a week means if I pull my socks up I could lose close to a stone. The only problem with pulling my socks up is that I don’t think I could get them past my fat ‘cankles’😉
If I carry on at this rate then my 40th will come around too quickly and my waist, thighs and boobs will also be in their forties (forty inches)! Apart from my age nothing else should be anywhere near forty or I’ll be very disappointed 😒
I have been wearing my Fit Bit and cover 10,000 steps most days however steps alone are not the answer, I need to do more. It’s almost like I’ve tried everything and now cant think of what to try next. All I can do is cut the takeaways, increase the exercise and see how we get on. I’m loathed to go back to calorie counting so three meals and healthy snacks it is. This morning when I weighed myself my BMI was through the roof and it’s the highest its ever been at 31.68, I’m too ashamed to put down my start weight but maybe that’s what I need to do to motivate me. I’m scared to share my weight and I’m not happy with looking in a mirror, let alone taking photos of my lard arse and putting them online. I’m the one who hides behind the others in a group photo, the one who always has a child in front of her tummy and the one who very rarely has a photo of just herself on her facebook page. This is exactly why I want to lose some weight so on my 40th I can have some lovely photos of me, looking good.
I’m setting a target to lose between 12lbs and a stone by 17th November – that’s 6 weeks from today, then I’ll take a week off and set myself my next target for Christmas. I’m hoping that smaller targets might make it easier to manage, we can but hope. So I’m sorry folks that the blog isn’t full of fantastic news of how brilliant the weight loss is going but things can only get better. Lets be honest if they get any worse then I might be on one of those documentaries where I’m too fat to leave the house!