The Elephant in the Room

nellie

It’s all come back on!

I would love to sit here and write that I had an awesome summer and managed to stay on track with my weight loss but it (as well as me) has all gone pear shaped!  I reluctantly weighed myself this morning and the scales seem to have gone back in time to June 😭.

In my defence the odds were against me:

  • No childcare so no chance of going to the gym over the summer holidays.
  • Underactive Thyroid medication reduced.
  • A week away, then another two weekends away.
  • A summer packed with family gatherings and celebrations.

I had put half of it back on after we came back from Cornwall but I was still determined to remedy the situation and to get back on track. However, before I could refocus on my goals we had a tragic death in the family.  Losing weight is important but when compared to losing a close relative then all rules are null and void.  The rest of the summer has been spent running around and organising the funeral and living off takeaways as well as copious amounts of wine.  Weight gain was inevitable but also unavoidable.  Grieving families don’t eat salad, you need comforting food, something stodgy and filling to help take away some of the emptiness you feel.

Today is a new start (again) and I have setup my Fitness Goals (again).  I can still do this and overcome the last couple of months as despite my setback I have over 7 months before I’m 40 😀. I’m being realistic and have started with smaller goals, I would like to lose 1.5 stone by Christmas which is about 3 months away.  The goal is achievable (hopefully) despite party season being around the corner.  I’m not going to be eating any specialist food or diet but just try to keep my calories controlled to under 1500 per day and fit in two gym sessions during the week.  This week I wont be able to go to the gym so will be reducing my calorie intake to 1200 per day.

We had a family gathering yesterday and I hadn’t seen some of these people for over 8 years.  I walked in and at first my Aunt didn’t recognise me.  It was weird because she looked at me but wasn’t quite sure, it was like there was an elephant in the room except this time there literally was an elephant in the room.  This is no metaphor about being ignored this is just blatant fact –  I was the elephant in the room. 

The last time most of these relatives had seen me I was probably half the size I am now, carrying less weight as well as less grey hair!  Eventually when I spoke and everyone worked out who the heifer was, I was warmly welcomed and the weight issue was ‘ignored’, I volunteered that I’d put a bit on since I last saw them but it was all brushed aside and not mentioned.  I had my excuses ready and I was poised to tell them about the underactive thyroid – but no one cared.  An issue so important to me was of no significance to anyone else, to them it seemed inevitable that a woman gets married, has kids and puts on weight.  It’s what happened to every other female in my family so why should I be any different?  The difference is though this isn’t what I had wanted for me as I grew up, I was going to break that cycle and be the one female who settled down and didn’t turn into a sack of spuds.

Of course I didn’t break the cycle and have continued the tradition, but its not all bad news as I remember from when I was a child the hustle and bustle of a family gathering, all the women cooking, laughing and joking.  The constant aroma of delicious food and the warmth of a cuddle from one of the many big busted, rotund aunties.  There may have been a lot of weight but more importantly there was a lot of love 💖. That tradition continues as there are still rotund aunties at the gatherings, but nowadays I don’t look up to them expecting cuddles but I sit alongside them as now I’m one of them!

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